We Are Adults

I remember the peaceful days I use to live in. Before I got into the mafia. I joined into the mafia because my girlfriend had gotten cancer and she was going to die if she didn't get the proper treatment. I was pretty much broke supporting her so I decided drug deal for the mafia. It was a tough situation and I don't usually do illegal things, but I've gone so low.I shared my best memories with this girl. She was the first girl I poured my soul out to. I shared everything I felt with her. She was just so damn lovable but when she got sick, everything in the world as I knew it fell down. She wouldn't be able to cuddle or kiss me anymore. I was a pretty bad guy until she knocked some sense into me but I don't deserve her.

When I heard she got cancer I went straight to the Internet looking up some cures. But what I found were dating sites. I thought that if she died, the dating sites could help me get my game back on. But how foolish I was to ever think that another woman can replace my current girlfriend. I can't believe I tried to ditch my girlfriend for these women on the dating sites, when all along I was searching for someone to pull me out of this dump. She was the person to make me feel like I wasn't trash. How could I stoop this low ? How could I browse these dating sites when I know there's a cure out there ?After that long depressing moment I went threw, I decided to give 100% into our relationship. Giving her flowers daily, sleep beside her when I didn't have work, even feed her. But the boss was getting to me. He told me that if I didn't start selling more drugs he was going to assassinate me and my girlfriend. I then started neglecting her and began making up excuses on why I couldn't be there most of the time. I didn't tell her that I was doing illegal deeds to support her, so I kept lying to her. It was hard for me, but it was the right thing. Or else she would make me stop and our payments would stack up and she'd be thrown off her medication. That was the last thing I wanted. I told her that I'd give her more time tomorrow, so she wouldn't be suspicious. The next day I showed up, I brought a nice romantic flick. She was very happy, but looked a little pale. I asked her if she wanted to eat something but she declined. We watched the movie until she fell asleep. I thought that I could skip the day of work and just wait until she woke up, but she never did.I was informed by the doctors that she was in critical condition and couldn't be cured. I never knew this. She was probably hiding it so it wouldn't hurt me until the end. I cried all throughout the night.